My oldest son will often say the phase, “I’m not a good” then add -er to whatever action he is doing. (Thrower, catcher, helper). Comically he creates new words like spoon user or toy picker upper. Most times what he needs is time. Time to grow up, but more importantly, time to practice. With a little instruction and a lot of practice, the skills will come.
In our house, we do not allow him to use words that speak negatively to his identity. He can’t say, “I’m a bad thrower,” but “I made a bad throw.” We don’t want him to build up the identity of being a bad whatever.
In our own lives, we put these identities on ourselves. When in truth, it is practice and time that we need. We tell ourselves the we are good writers, artists, programmers, salesmen. We should add the word “yet.” I’m not a good at this yet. “Yet” tells that we will not stay this way.
“I’m not a good…yet.”